Nicole's Engl blog

I remember…

Posted on: September 11, 2012

I remember leaving my house, pulling away in the big huge van, me, my parents and my brother who wanted nothing to do with this adventure but rather the stop along the way. The van was packed with my whole life everything I had accumulated over the past 18 years. Now just freshly 18 I had packed it all away to make my first move ever to university. I remember looking at my house as we pulled out of the drive way slowly as my dad was unsure how well the stack of boxes filling the back half of the van would hold the whole way to Toronto. I instantly got an over whelming sense of sadness as we pulled away from the only home I had ever known. The emotion shocked me as before this moment my move to Brock had been a decision of pure excitement, but at this second in time I felt all the things I was going to miss flash before my eyes. My friends, my parents, my bed, having a car all the time, someone too cook me meals, and the town and neighbourhood I had spent my whole life in. I remember a sense on uncertainty, I won’t know how to get around the school or the city, I’m not going to know any one and I going to like my program? All these issues floated around in my head as we made the 2 and half hour trip to Toronto where we would spend the night at my Aunt and Uncles in order to make my arrival for my scheduled move in time of 10 am in St.Catharines a little more do-able. I remember that whole time we drove I just stared out the window watching the scenery go by thinking of all the uncertainties I would come to face during this new chapter of my life I was embarking on. But the scariest thought was what if I’m not good at it or I don’t like it. I have wanted to be a teacher since I was 4 and that’s it, what 4 year old makes a plan and sticks to it. And there I was embarking on the beginning steps of that plan 4 year old me made and there were so many possibilities it could go so wrong. Had I really even considered anything else after that moment I remember racking my brain but I hadn’t even given another option any serious consideration. All these thoughts disappeared once we arrived in Toronto that day as I was distracted by the gathering of our two families. But the next day when we set to leave all these issues returned as we made the finale leg of our journey. But I remember thinking right before I got out of the van that next day on the curb of the Vallee residence “well lets hope four year old me made the right decision”.

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