Nicole's Engl blog

I don’t remember

Posted on: September 14, 2012

I don’t remember my fourth birthday, well not really… not like I thought I did. I thought I knew all these details and all the specific things but looking back I don’t think I do. I think I’ve just created these from the pictures I have in a photo album. It was lion king themed well there was a lion king table cloth on the table. And I had a cake with chocolate frosting and smarties all over it; I saw in an old picture of my mom and had to have one just like it. I remember that but I don’t know if that’s just because of the picture  of me blowing out the candles on a similar cake. I definitely remember my elbow really hurt but there was no bruise or scab but maybe I just remember that because there’s a picture of me pointing to my elbow while I sit at the table. The more I think about it the more I think I don’t think I really remember any of it, all the details I can think of have photographic evidence to back them up. The more I try to remember something the more the pictures pop into my mind. When ever someone asked me what is your earliest memory that is what I would say but I really don’t think I remember it at all. Maybe vaguely if I can patch the few pictures there are of me together into what I thought was a memory, maybe its not that far off from a time when I can remember. It was August 11th like it is every year, and I know for a fact that I remember my first day of school and there are no pictures of that so I know that ones real. So this might be a faint memory that I’ve constructed based on the pictures I have of it. In one picture there is a shot of my younger cousin who was a baby at the time his birthday is in April so this must be the year he was born. I don’t remember him being born or the exciting day when I would have learned I had a baby cousin. This puts my birthday in between a real memory and a time I defiantly don’t remember. But will I ever really know if I do remember my fourth birthday party, I mean I couldn’t tell you what I got, I could tell you what I wore from the pictures but I defiantly didn’t remember that. So how many of my memories are real or did I make them up from pictures? Or is this some weird point in my life where my memories start? But will it really matter if I don’t remember my fourth birthday? I mean I’m sure it was great, how could a lion king themed birthday party with a chocolate smartie cake with you new baby cousin not be?

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