Nicole's Engl blog

Some Place

Posted on: October 20, 2012

We all do come from someplace, me? I come from SarniaOntario. Its down there at the toe of the boot, if you’ve never been I wouldn’t expect you to know it, but if you’ve me someone from them then you know the stories well. I escaped it through education, BrockUniversity to be exact. The most normal way to leave your home is post secondary education these days. But unlike my other Sarnia friends also at Brock (there’s a ton), I feel like I am one of the only ones who did escape. The rest of them are pulled back all the time, every other weekend, once a month, for the summer. Don’t get me wrong I love going home its often relaxing and takes away the stress of school and being independent and shit like that. But I feel like I’ve made another life here, when I go home it still feels like home in the sense that its familiar and I know where things are. But I don’t feel like I belong there any more, not just with my family but my friends too. And I get people change and all that, but its just too different know I feel like when I go home I’m trying to fit into this life and there’s just no room for me. I feel like an outsider.

When I’m at home it doesn’t feel exactly right, I feel like my family just has new ways of doing things and that I’m just the weird add in. Like a foreign exchange student who has to learn the cultural norms of a new society, that’s exactly what it feels like to me when I go home. Like I just don’t fit there anymore. But that’s ok I fit here, where I live now. I love my program and my classes, as well as my school, I enjoy my job and the other people I work with, I like my roommates most of the time, and I have a my boyfriend who keeps me grounded here.

Soon enough this will all end and I will probably have to return to my home, and try and fit back in. I feel like it will be a bit of an identity crisis, trying to fit my old self into this new life, with a new more grown up me. Ugh it just sounds horrible and confusing, but that’s at least a year an a half away so we shall see.

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